Clothes make the man

James: “I’m not sure how to plan my hospital shift this afternoon. I need to go there in work clothes, check in at the chaplain’s office (which is now a different building than it used to be), then go to this other building to get scrubs for my shift, and then back to the chaplains’ office to plan visits and review the requests for my shift… What do I do with my work clothes?”

Helen: “You could just go to the hospital naked.”

Me: “But then you would have to change your strategy.” (This is a 10-year ongoing family joke; if you go anywhere naked you have to change your strategy. For whatever. You just have to. Your previous strategy-that-included-clothing won’t work. I think this started with a Mark Twain comment that clothes make the man because naked people have little to no influence on society.)

James: “Well, this may be the perfect time to do it because everyone is wearing masks! No one will know who I am!”

Me: “Ooo, I’m sure that will work well. Who is that masked man driving a car in wearing nothing but a watch?!”

Helen: “People will be very surprised, Dad.”

James: “Possibly too surprised. Maybe I need a gym bag. I think I’ll keep clothing as the Plan A.”

Little known side effect of Corona quarantine; increased nudity.